Morris was a very successful marketing director. Sadly, his wife Shirley dies. At the cemetery, Morris's friends and family are appalled to see that the headstone reads:
"Here lies Shirley, wife of Morris, MCIM, Post Graduate Diploma in Marketing and Marketing Director of Quality Marketing Services Ltd."
Morris was standing in front of Shirley's grave reading the headstone when he suddenly burst into tears.
His brother says to him, "I'm not at all surprised that you find this distasteful. It's right that you should cry, pulling a cheap stunt like this on Shirley's headstone."
Through his tears, Morris sobs, "You don't understand. They left out the phone number."
Two men are playing golf one day. As they are about to start one of the holes, a funeral procession goes by on the road beside the course. One of the golfers, Harry, takes off his cap and stands with his cap to his chest, and waits for the entire procession to go by. He then puts his cap back on and proceeds to tee off. "Gee Harry, that was a very nice gesture on your part. It was very thoughtful and respectful of you to do that," his friend says. "Well," Harry replies, "I was married to her for 30 years, it was the least I could do."
Joe was a housekeeper who had this habit of drinking from his boss' wine bottle and replacing it with water. The boss, James, did suspect him but tolerated it for a while. But when this became a daily routine, James decided to do something to trap Joe.
Accordingly, James replaced his drink with a French wine which changed colour when water is added to it. Joe, not aware of the trap, took a few swigs and added water as usual. The wine changed colour from red to milky
Santa is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, I will give you three wishes. Santa thinks awhile. Finally he says, I want a beer that never is empty. With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. Santa starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes. Santa says, I want two more of these.