Santa and Banta are discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was in love three times," Santa says. "Thought...?" Banta asks. "What do you mean?" "Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me," Santa says. "Wasn't that love?" Banta asks. "No, that was obsession," Santa explains. "Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn't understand me." "Wasn't that love?" asks Banta. "No, that was lust," Santa replies. "And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach." "Well, wasn't that love," asks Banta. "No. That was motion sickness!" Santa replies.
During the weeks before Brenda's wedding, she was terribly anxious about making mistakes at the ceremony.
The minister reassured her several times, pointing out that the service was not difficult and that she would do just fine.
"All you have to remember," he said, "is that when you enter the church you walk up the AISLE. The groom and best man will be waiting before the ALTAR. Then I shall request the congregation to sing a HYMN.... then we shall get on
Banta walks into a bar for a bar and takes a seat. However, just as the bartender put the beer on the bar, there was a loud disturbance outside. He ran out to see what was going on but soon went back to drink his beer.
When he got back, he found his glass empty and a note saying: 'Thanks for the beer!'
Banta was a little ticked-off but ordered another beer anyway. Again, just as the bartender put the beer down, a loud crash was heard in the street. Thinking
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field. " "You must be an engineer", says the balloonist. "I am", replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well", says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but