Joe and Joan were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said. "You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Joe said, "Jeez, okay," and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was, "There will be 2 to 4 inches
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.
As he passed raging fire pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman." "Shut up," barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.
"Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
You've probably heard of "deja vu," the illusion of having previously experienced a situation that is happening now. Here are some related expressions. Feel like I've...
Man runs to the doctor and says, "doctor, you've got to help me...my wife thinks she's a chicken!" Doctor says, " how long has she had this condition?" "Two years," says the man. "Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" The man shrugs his shoulders, "we needed the eggs."
A man was browsing in an antique store when he came upon a statue of a rat. He asked the price and the owner said, "The statue of the rat is $100; the legend behind the statue is another $100." The man agreed to buy only the statue itself, although the owner warned as he left, "You'll be back for the legend!" The man tossed the statue into the back seat of his car and started to drive away. There were several rats in the alley that began to chase the car. As he