A transcript of the new answering service recently installed at the Mental Health Institute "Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want ... Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7 and
Middle aged Santa and Jeeto were discussing life, and preparing wills. The conversation turned to remarriage... Jeeto: If I should die first, will you remarry? Santa: Probably, I wouldn't like to spend the rest of my life alone. Jeeto: Would you bring your new wife into our home that we have shared? Santa: I don't see why not. It would be empty, you wouldn't be there. Jeeto: Would you share the same bed we've shared? Santa: Well, it's a comfortable bed... Jeeto: Would you let here wear my clothes? Santa: Sure, if they fit. They are quite nice. Jeeto: Would you let her use my golf clubs? Santa: No way, Preeto is left handed.
Having lost his donkey, Banta got down on his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" Banta replied "I am thanking him for seeing to it that I was not riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
Once a Blonde was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Blonde deserved more service. So, when the Blonde fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Blonde was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. "What's the matter?" Says his wife. He replied, "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else."