Tommy enters the confessional box and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks, "Is that you, Tommy ?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the woman you were with?" "Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda ?" "I cannot say." "Was it Patricia ?" "I'll never
Santa to Banta: You'll never believe what happened last night. Banta: 'Well then, tell me what happened.' The guy says, 'Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch.' She said, 'Can I stay here for a few days?' I said, 'Of course, you can,' and shut the door.'
Pandit ek ladki waale ghar mein shaadi k liye ladke ki baat karne gaya.
Pandit: Aap logon ko kaisa ladka chahiye?"
Ladki Wale: Humein aisa ladka chahiye jo paan, cigarette, daaru, gutkha, jarda ya aur koi bhi nashe na karta ho, boiled khana khata ho aur bhagwaan ka naam jaapta ho.
Pandit: Yajman ji, aisa ladka toh aapko sirf ICU mein hi mil sakta hai.
A guy was known among his friends to be very brief and to the point - he really never said too much. One day, a saleswoman promoting a certain brand of brushes, nocked his door and asked to see his wife, so the guy told her that she wasn't home. " Well," the woman said, " could I please wait for her?" The man directed her to the drawing room and left her there for more than three hours. After feeling really worried, she called out for him and asked," May I know where your wife is?" " She went to the cemetery," he replied. "And when is she coming?" "I don't really know," he said. "She's been there eleven years now."