The first old man said, "Where have you been for the last couple of months?"
The 2nd old man replied, "I was in jail."
The 1st old man asked, "You were in jail? Why were you in jail?"
He replied, "Well, about two months ago I was standing on a corner, and this beautiful young woman rushes up with a policeman, points to me and says, 'He is the man officer, he is the one who attacked and raped me.'"
The 1st old man said, "What? And you let her get away with it?"
2nd old replied, "Well, I'll tell you, I felt so flattered, I admitted to it."
Operator: Can I have your multi purpose Aadhar card number first, Sir?
Customer: Yeah! Hold on..... My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610
Operator: OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. You are calling from you home number now.
Banta was not home at his usual hour, and his wife, Preeto, was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was Banta, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
"Do you realize what time it is?" she asked.
He answered, "Don't get excited. I'm late because I bought something for the house."
Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Pappu, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him, "Pappu, how many times have you seen a red duck?"
Young Pappu replied with, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."