For thirty years, Officer Johnson had arrived at the police station at 9 AM on the dot ready for duty. He had never missed a day and was never late.
Consequently, when on one particular day 9 AM passed without Johnson's arrival in the briefing room, it caused a major sensation. All announcements and patrol assignments ceased and the sergeant himself, looking at his watch and muttering, stormed out into the corridor.
Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, his uniform dusty and torn, his nametag missing, his face scratched and bruised, his shield bent.
He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs. Nearly freakin' killed myself."
And the sergeant said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"
The post office received a letter addressed "To God." Not knowing where to deliver it, they forwarded it to one of the nearby churches.
The pastor read it at the next charity committee meeting:
Dear God,
I hate to bother you, but my family is having it tough right now. The rent is two month's due, my wife is expecting, and my car is broke down. Plus I just lost my job as a night watchman due to sleeping on the job. Please send us 1,000 bucks and
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?"
The guy answers, "A scotch, please."
The bartender hands him the drink, and says, "That'll be five dollars."
The guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this."
A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon
"This is a lesson in logic," said the old professor in the teahouse. "If the show starts at nine and dinner is at six, and my son has the measles, and my brother drives a Cadillac, how old am I?"
"You are eighty-four," replied Mulla Nasruddin promptly.
"Right," said the professor. "Now tell the rest of the fellows here how you arrived at the correct answer."
"It is easy," said Nasruddin. "I have got an uncle who is forty-two, and he is only half nuts. You must be eighty-four."
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other at the bar. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, drunk and dozing, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains: "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely
In a small town, a person decided to open up a brothel, which was right opposite to a church. The church and its congregation started a campaign to block the brothel from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.
Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the brothel and it was burnt to the ground.
The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that