Banta bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandhar to meet his friend. He reached Jalandhar in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in evening. But he did not reach Amritsar that evening and not even the next day. when he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran out, hugged him and asked, "Arre puttar, ki hoya?" Banta got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said,"Oye, ye Mruti waale paagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur piche jaan waaste sirf ik." (These Maruti-makers are crazy: they make four gears to go forward, but only one to go backward.)
Santa & Banta were sitting on the bank of a river in Africa, dangling their feet in the water. Suddenly Banta let out a yell and the Santa said: 'What is the matter?' The Banta replied: 'A crocodile has just bitten off one of my feet!' 'Which one?' Santa asked. 'What does it matter?' Banta replied, 'those crocodiles all look alike to me.'
Emily Sue passed away, and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?" There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
Guide: I welcome you all to the Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high that the sound of even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be heard! Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls.
Mona and Julia are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time; Shifrah is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore. "As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Julia cries. "I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day." replies Mona. "Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer.