After being away on business, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.
"That's a bit much," said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
"That's still quite a bit," Tom groused. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
"What I mean," said Tom, "is I'd like to see something really cheap."
After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling. On one occasion, he enters a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.
One day a little boy gets on a bus and sits behind the bus driver.
He starts saying things like, "If my Mom was a hen and my dad was a rooster, I would be a little rooster," the bus driver said shut up!
Still the boy went on... "If my Mom was a female elephant and my dad was a male elephant, I would be a little male elephant," the bus driver said shut up!
Still the boy went on... "If my Mom was a female dog and my dad was a male dog, I would be a little male dog."
The bus driver got so mad, and asked, "If your Mom was a prostitute, and your dad was a homo, what would you be?"
A woman rushed home from work and exclaimed to her husband, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!" The husband excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" She says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!"
One day a priest was playing baseball. A nun was cheerleading near first base. The priest was up to bat. The pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said, "Dammit! I missed!"
"Don't you say that mister or God will strike you with a bolt of lightning," the nun said.
Again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said, "Dammit! I missed!"
"If you say that one more time mister, God will strike you with a bolt of lightning," the nun said.
Once again the pitcher threw the ball. The priest swung, missed, and said, "Dammit! I missed!"
A bolt of lightning strikes the nun and God says, "Dammit! I missed!"