A Boyfriend sends a message to his girlfriend on WhatsApp...
Boyfriend - Hi.
Girlfriend - Hello.
Boyfriend - Kahan par ho?
Girlfriend: Main apne papa ki BMW mein club ja rahi hun, abhi driver mujhe club chor dega, uske baad mall mein shopping ke liye jaungi, tab tumhe call karti hun, tum kahan par ho?
Boyfriend: 401 no ki bus mein, TUMHARI SEAT SE 2 SEATS PEECHE, TUM TICKET MAT LENA Maine Le Li hai...!!!
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest says, "Cross you arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes,' 'go on,' 'I understand,' and 'how did you feel about that?'" The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than saying, 'Whoa... What happened next?'"
Five Irishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The gorgeous blonde Italian customs agent stops and tells them, "It's illegal to put five people in a Quattro."
"What do you mean it's illegal?" asks the driver.
"Quattro means four," replied the blonde.
"Quattro is just the name of the car," the Irishman retorted in disbelief, "Look at the papers, this car is designed to carry five persons."
"You can't pull that one on me," replies the Italian customs agent, "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and are therefore breaking the law".
The driver replies angrily, "Brainless idiot! Call your supervisor over - I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"
"Sorry," she said sweetly, "he can't come right now. He's busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno."