"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife."
Audience was in shock and silence.
He added: "She was my mother." (A big round of plause & laughter)
A very daring husband tried to crack this at home.
After dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen: "Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
Standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker... . . . By the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water!
There were three guys on a plane. The first guy just ate an apple and decided to throw it out of the plane. So he threw it out just before they landed. When they landed they saw a little girl crying. They asked her what was wrong. She said, "I was just sitting here playing when an apple fell out of the sky and hit me in the head." They said, "That sucks" Then they took off again and the second guy threw a orange out of the plane. When they landed there was a another
An Irishman, an Italian, and Banta are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place. Then the Irishman says, "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!" The others agree that sounds like a nice place. Then the Italian says, "Yeah, that's a nice bar, but where I come from, there's