A union leader was addressing the workers at a union meeting "I am pleased to announce that we have agreed on a new deal with the management. We will no longer work four days a week." "Hooray!" the crowd yelled. "We will finish work at 4 PM, not 5 PM." "Hooray!" the crowd yelled again. We will start work at 10 AM, not 9 AM." "Hooray!" "We have a 110% pay increase." "Hooray!" "We will only work on Tuesdays." Suddenly, the crowd fell silent, until a voice from the back asked, "Every Tuesday?"
When Shabana Azmi greeted Nelson Mandela with a kiss, the following eulogy was written in praise of the act by Principal B.S. Bhatnagar of the Indian school A1 Ghubra, Sultanate of Oman. A kiss is that which you cannot give without taking, and cannot take without giving. It is a contraction of the mouth due to an enlargement of the heart. It is a course of procedure cunningly devised for the mutual stoppage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous. It is
A very tight man was looking for a gift for a friend.
Everything was too expensive except for a glass vase that had been broken, which he could purchase for almost nothing. He asked the store to send it, hoping his friend would think it has been broken in transit.
In due time, he received an acknowledgement:
"Thanks for the vase," it read. "It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately."
A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him.
He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?"
The old man lowered his voice, "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"