An American delegation on a visit to India were being shown round the capital. In the evening they were taken to the Secretariat for a panoramic view of Vijay Chowk and Rajpath. Came the closing hour and thousands upon thousands of clerks poured out of their offices. The place was crammed with bicycles and pedestrians.
"Who are all these peoples?" asked the leader of the American delegation.
"They are the common people of India; the real rulers of the country," proudly replied the minister accompanying the visitors.
A few minutes later came a fleet of flag-bearing limousines escorted by pilots on motorcycles followed by jeeps full of armed policemen.
"And who are these?" asked the American.
"These are us," replied the minister with the same pride, "the servants of the people."
The company psychiatrist was interviewing the young blonde.
As she sat in the chair, the psychiatrist asked a series of questions to determine if she was emotionally suitable for the company. Things were not going well for the young blonde.
The psychiatrist decided to try a new approach, to give the blonde one last chance.
He asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"
Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight.
After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a low voice, "Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both surgeons."
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tightlipped smile, "Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both judges."
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce himself.
With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, "Master Chief Petty Officer, United States Navy, retired. Never married, two sons, both Admirals."
Dear Friends, I cannot use names allowed due to legal reasons however, I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my solicitor last night, and on advice I wish to say the following:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive
1. I will try to figure out why I "really" need 12 e-mail addresses. 2. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). A phone call every now and then would be appreciated. 3. I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. 4. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. 5. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. 6. I resolve to back
Charley, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldnt seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, even 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-mind, a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policy.
One day the boss was in a real quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, he called him into the office for a talk.
"Charlie, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic