Christian middle school for girls was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called several of the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints
This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast food establishment. Not sure if they hired him...
NAME: Armando Rodriguez...
DESIRED POSITION Reclining. Ha ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of a thunderstorm and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh butter fat.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.
So far I have been too afraid to go down the toilet paper aisle.
Banta was carrying a large fish in a bucket of water away from a lake, which was well known for its excellent fishing when a Fishery officer stopped him.
The officer says, "Do you have a fishing license?"
Banta replies, "Don't need a license, this is my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the officer asked.
Banta answers, "Yes, every night I take my fish down to the lake and let him swim around for a while, then I whistle and he jumps up on shore
Santa and Banta are in a railway station. Santa asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?" "No," answers the Railway TT. "Can I?" asks Banta.