Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, There are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them
A young man asked a rich old man: How he made his money ?
The old guy said: Son, it was 1932, The Depth of The Great Depression, I was down to my last nickel. I invested that in an apple and spent the entire day polishing it and at the end of the day, I sold the apple for 10 Cents..!
The next day, I invested those 10 Cents in 2 apples. I spent the entire day polishing them & sold them for 20 Cents.
I continued this 4 a month, by the end of which I had accumulated a fortune Of $.1.37.
Then my wife's father died & left us 2 Million Dollars...!
MORAL: Hard work is just shit.. Find a chick whose father is rich.
At an international women's conference the topic for discussion was: How to empower women in the home.
The first speaker was the British representative. She stood up and said, "I decided to make a stand against my husband's oppression and so I told him that I would no longer be doing the washing. After the first day I saw no result; after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day he did his own washing."
Banta is standing on platform no.1 waiting for the punjab mail to arrive. There is an announcement "Passengers to note.. Train no 234 dn Punjab mail from New Delhi will be arriving on 'platform' no.1 shortly." Hearing this Banta gets panicky..He immediately picked up his baggage, jumped on to the railway track and stood there..