Rumors of the sale and an advertisement on the web and newspaeres were the main reasons for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back amid loud and colorful curses.
On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw and knocked around a bit, then thrown to the end of the line again.
As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line:
"That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!"
Santa goes to consult a famous specialist about his medical problem. "How much do I owe you?" "My fee is Rs 500," replies the physician. "Five hundred? That's impossible." "In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to Rs 300." "Three hundred for one visit? Ridiculous." "Well, then, could you afford Two hundred?" "Who has so much money?" "Look," replies the doctor, growing irritated, "Just give me Fifty rupees and be gone." "I can give you Twenty rupees only." says Santa, "Take it or leave it." "I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in This Friggin' town?" "Listen, Doctor," says Santa. "When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive."
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, You are really ugly," The lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly," She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly," The lady was so ticked that she went