Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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Banta's driving along the highway one evening when all of a sudden nature calls. He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into the parking lot.

When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed! The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies are dancing on the tables and there's hardly standing room anywhere.

Banta scans the place a couple of times to find the restrooms, but to no avail. Finally, he spots a small stairway and scrambles up
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Santa lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate.
The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the Inspector's and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."
"What do you want me to do?" asked the Inspector.
"I don't care, just do something about those drivers
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A army trainer was teaching his recruits about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked.
Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then Santa in the back eagerly raised his hand.
"Yes Santa, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?"
Santa replied: "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
"Why's that Santa ?"
"Well," answered Santa, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked trainer impatiently.
"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, "Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"
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Santa and Banta were in a restaurant and ordered fish. The waiter brought a dish with two fish, one larger than the other.
Santa said to Banta, "Please help yourself."
Banta said "Okay", and helped himself to the larger fish.
After a tense silence, Santa said, "really, now, if you had offered me the first choice, I would have taken the smaller fish!"
Banta replied, "What are you complaining for; you have it, don t you?"
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Santa goes into the dentist's office to get a bad tooth pulled. As he opens his mouth and the dentist is about to drill, he asks how long the procedure will take.
"You'll be out of here before you know it, and won't feel a thing - the local will last 10 minutes."
"And how much is this costing?" Santa asks.
"Rs 500" the dentist states plainly.
"Geesh," Santa grumbled, "it's a crime to be able to hold a man captive for five minutes and charge him Rs 500!"
"Then for you, I'll give you a special!" the dentist said, and Santa's face looked pleasantly relieved.
"I'll take 15 minutes to do the extraction."
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Banta asked his wife to get some tea when his friend Santa dropped in uninvited. 'There is no sugar in the house and the shops are closed because of a bandh,' replied Mrs. Banta.
'Not to worry,' replied Banta 'instead of a spoon of sugar, you can give me a kiss.'
'What about Santa? He usually takes two spoonfuls of sugar,' replied Mrs. Banta.
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