Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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Santa was talking to his fiancee, Jeeto, and he said, "Be honest, how am I as a lover?"
To which Jeeto replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm."
"Really?" Santa said excitedly.
"Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary definition of the word 'warm'."
Santa was pleased until he went home and, just for fun, checked his dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."
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The worried Preeto sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.
"How are you, darling?" she said. "What kind of a day are you having?"
"Oh, mother," said Preeto, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I
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Subedar Santa and Subedar Imamuddin were in the same regiment in the British Indian Army, they were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together.
The partition separated them as Subedar Imamuddin was absorbed in the Pakistan Army. To keep his friend's memory alive Subedar Santa always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately! When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained:

"This glass is Imamuddin's; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each- One on behalf of Imamuddin, the other for myself."

Suddenly one evening Santa was seen with only one glass on his table. He was asked what happened.
He replied, "You see, I have given up drinking but Imamuddin has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend."
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Banta noticed that Santa was looking depressed, and asked what was wrong.

"Well," said Santa, "I ran afoul of one of those awkward questions women ask. Now I'm in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?" asked Banta.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her when she gets old, fat and wrinkly."

"That's easy," said Banta. "You just say 'Of course I will'."

"Yeah," said Santa, "That's what I did, except I said 'Of course I DO...'"
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Once Santa and an American had a discussion over whose civilization was technologically more advanced in the ancient times. As the discussion was getting nowhere, they both decided to do some archaeological excavation to prove their respective claims. So the American started digging up in USA and after some time came up with a curly wire of a telephone.
He wrote in his report - US civilization was so advanced even in the ancient times that people then were using telephones
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