Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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The mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were 'protecting'. Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job - if he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.
Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over Rs 50,00,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The mafia soon realizes
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"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Santa asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, "Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?"
Santa thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
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One day there was a man going in a Fiat Car at 45 KMPH on a high way and enjoying his drive. Suddenly Banta came Booiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn on a Honda and peeped into the car and shouted at the man:
"Kabhi Honda chalaya kya?" and sped off.
The man was surprised but he did not bother. After some time Banta came Booiiiinnnnnnnnnnn... in the opposite direction, peeped into the car and shouted again ' kabhi Honda chalaya kya?' and sped off .
This time the man was annoyed
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A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer.
Santa, the bartender, shoved the foaming glass in front of him.
"Look," said the customer, "I have no arms - would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?"
"Sure", said Santa, and he did.
"Now," said the customer, "I wonder if you'd be so kind as to get my handkerchief out of my pocket and wipe the foam off my mouth."
"Certainly." And it was done.
"If," said the armless man, "you'd reach in my right hand pants pocket, you'll find the money for the beer."
Santa got it.
"You've been very kind," said the customer. "Just one thing more. Where is the men's room?"
"Out the door," said Santa, "turn left, walk two blocks, and there's one in a filling station on the corner."
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A busload of American tourists were heading towards Punjab on G.T. Road when suddenly the driver slammed on the brakes. Lying on the road in front was Santa with his ear to the ground. Passengers trooped out of the bus and crowded around him.

"Hey, what are you doing down there pal?" asked one of the tourists.

Santa slowly raised his head and replied, "Green Matador 25 km away travelling at 80 km."

"Wow," exclaimed the tourist, "You can tell us that by listening to the road?"

"No," croaked Santa, "I fell off the damned thing."
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Santa and his girlfriend were driving along one day. He noticed that she kept looking at him and smiling. Then she leaned over and whispered in Santa's ear, "Can you drive using only one hand?"
"I sure can" Santa grinned, thinking his luck was in.
"Good!" she said, "Then wipe your nose; it's running!"
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