A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the server, "Hey, you want to hear a blond joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you're blind -- that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a
Banta and Santa were working on a roof, when Banta slipped and fell to the ground. Santa leaned over and called out: "Are you dead or alive, Banta?" "Alive," moaned Banta. "You are a liar. I donot know whether to believe you or not," said Santa "Then I must be dead," said Banta, "because you wouldnot dare call me a liar if I were alive."
Alia Bhatt: Hey dad, what's the plan for weekend ? Mahesh Bhatt: Income Tax Returns. Alia Bhatt: Hey, first Part Kab Release Hua Tha? Mahesh Bhatt: Jaa Meri Maa, Tu Shooting Pe Jaa!!!
Alia was Participating 100 metres Race... Referee said: 1, 2, 3, GO.... Everybody started running except Alia Bhatt. Referee: Why are you not running...? Alia Bhatt: My number is 4.
SBI Bank: Humara Bank Aapko bina Interest Ke Loan De raha
Interviewer: Alia, according to you, which is the best team in IPL 7 so far? Alia Bhatt: Sunrisers Hyderabad because all have orange caps.
Deepika: Will you come to see my Chennai Express? Alia: No! IRCTC site is not working.
Alia Bhatt is so dumb that she thought Pani Puri, Sev Puri are all relatives of Amrish Puri. Chetan Bhagat: What's the opposite of IIT? Alia: U UCoffee.