A guy phones a law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." The receptionist says, "Im sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the same guy phones the law firm and says, "I want to speak to my lawyer." Once again the receptionist replies, "Im sorry, but your lawyer died last week." The next day the guy makes his regular call to the law firm and say, "I want to speak to my lawyer." "Excuse me sir," the receptionist says, "but this is third time Ive had to tell you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?" The guy replies, "Because I love hearing it!"
Banta owned a pub in the Ludhiana, and in the summertime a swarm of flies seemed to just hover over the buffet table. This had been going on for about a month.
Santa, the neighborhood mooch, walked in one day.
"I'm not giving you another free beer!" Banta hollered, as he noticed Santa.
Santa was not without a plan, however. He approached Banta and offered him a deal.
"I've been noticing these flies for the last weeks. If you'll give me a shot, I'll kill every one of them for you."
Banta gave him the agreed-upon shot. Once he had downed it, Santa got up and headed for the door.
"All right," he shouted, "send them out - one at a time!"
The National Institutes of Health have announced that they will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation. In their place, they will use attorneys. They have given three reasons for this decision: 1. There are now more attorneys than there are rats. 2. The medical researchers don t become as emotionally attached to the attorneys as they did to the rats. 3. No matter how hard you try, there are some things that rats won't do.
Husband is a Software Professional!! Husband : Good evening dear, I am now logged in. Wife : Have you brought the ring? Husband : Bad command or File name. Wife : But I told in the mornin....... Husband : Erroneous Syntax, Abort? Wife : What about your salary? Husband : File in use. Wife : What about my new saree? Husband : Variable not found. Wife : At least give me your credit card, I want to do some shopping. Husband :