A newcomer to the political scene was campaigning in the backwoods for the Loksabha elections Outside a ramshackle house, he saw Banta milking a cow. He approached him, ready to make his pitch for a vote. Just as he was getting started, Santa called from inside the house. "Oye, Banteya, get in the house. And who is that guy you are talking to?" "Says he is a politician" Banta said. "In that case, you do better bring the cow inside with you."
A group of young women decided to arrange for a camp with their mothers-in-law to hopefully get to know and understand each other better.
Two buses were hired, one for the mothers -in-law and the other for the daughters-in- law.
Unfortunately the bus with the mothers-in-law was involved in an accident and all the passengers died on the spot.
The daughters in law (women being women) shed a few tears but they were all puzzled by one sister who wailed uncontrollably for what they perceived to be her loss.
Her friend asked her, "Forgive me for asking but why are you crying so hard, I didn't realize u were so close to your mother-in-law?"
To which she replied, "No we are not close at all, she missed the bus!"
An elderly man was sick and in the hospital. There was this one nurse who drove him crazy because every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child.
She would say in a patronizing voice, "And how are we doing this morning?" or "Are we ready for a bath?"
The man had just had enough! So, one morning at breakfast, he took the apple juice off the tray and put it on his bedside stand. Later that morning, he was given a urine bottle to fill
God was sitting in heaven one day when a scientist said to Him, "God, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing - in other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning."
"Oh, is that so? Tell Me..." replies God.
"Well," says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man."
"Well, that's very interesting...show Me."
So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil into the shape of a man.
"No, no, no..." interrupts God, "Get your own dirt."
A newlywed sailor is informed by the navy that hes going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the South Pacific for 2 years. A few weeks after he gets there he really starts to miss his new wife, so he writes her a letter. "My darling," he writes, "it looks like were going to be apart for a very long time. Already Im starting to miss you and were constantly surrounded by young, attractive native girls. The temptations terrible. I need some kind of hobby