Banta is a Government Employee. One day, out of boredom, he decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for a beautiful Castle right now!" He gets one. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs reside." Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish, "I wish I'd never have to work ever again." OOPS! He's back in his office again.
The local political leader was invited to speak to the inmates of a mental asylum.
The politician had begun his talk and had been going for about ten minutes when a fellow in the back stood up and yelled, "Oh, you don't know what you are talking about! Besides, you are talking too much. Why don't you shut up and sit down!"
"I will wait a minute until you put that man out," the politician said to the superintendent.
"Put him out?" the superintendent asked.
"Certainly not! That poor man has been here for eight years and that is the first time he has ever said anything that made any sense, sir."
"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went." "But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?" "But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack. "But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "I forgot."
Why do ENGINEERING students always prefer local author books than REFERENCE books???
The local author says: 'Jack & Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after'.
And REFERENCE BOOK says: '2 humans ascended a certain geological protuberance to collect hydride of oxygen whose quantity is not specified. One member Jack, of rapid irregular disturbing movements encounters fatal logical gravitational error leading to complete disarray. Other member named Jill whose scope lies within disarray, descends down the geographical protuberance at an acceleration, whose magnitude is controlled by the force of gravity.' !!!
A lady went to a doctor to complain about a pain in her side. He informed her she was suffering from appendicitis and must undergo an operation.
Not quite trusting the doctor, she went to another physician for a second opinion.
This time, the doctor said her gall bladder has to be removed.
Feeling horrified at the diagnosis, the woman told her friend: "I'm returning to my first doctor. I'd rather have appendicitis, than gall bladder removed."