In the life of a common man, things are never serious. Starting from birth until the common man dies, everything remains so so common that you can make fun of almost everything. Some of such jokes can be found here.


A first-time father takes his baby to the doctor. "Doc, I can't figure out what's wrong with him. He doesn't stop crying."

It only takes the doctor a second to see what is wrong. "Heres your problem," says the doctor. "This babys in serious need of a diaper change."

Looking baffled, the man replies, "But the package says its good for eight to 10 pounds!"
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A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for quite some time now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any more."

Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, I personally placed an order for them just a couple of days ago."

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked if we had any?"

"Poisonous spiders in the fruit department."
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A magazine recently ran a 'Dilbert Quotes' contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America:

'As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.' (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp in Redmond WA)
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Student: "How long do you want this report to be?"
Teacher: "I would like you to think of this paper much like a lady's dress - long enough to cover the subject, yet short enough to keep it interesting."
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The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight-feet-deep. After the job was completed, the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed.

"Fill it up," he ordered.

The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top.

He went to the office and explained his problem. The boss snorted.

"Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"
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A fellow bought a new Mercedes on the Christmas eve and was out on the highway for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.
As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further.
The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him.
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