Mrs. Banta woke her husband Banta, in the middle of the night. 'There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning. 'Who shall I call,' Banta said, 'Police or ambulance?'
A famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart.
When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.
Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing.
The guy next to him asked, "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.
Preeto took her husband Banta to see a psychiatrist for a check up.
After examining him, the doctor took Preeto to one side and said, "I have some very bad news for you. There is nothing I can do to help your husband. His mind has completely gone."
"Im not really surprised," Preeto replied, "He's been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 20 years."
Santa's wife, Jeeto, got into a terrible car accident. Her face was burned terribly. The doctors couldn't use any skin on her body to graft onto her face for reconstructive surgery. As a result, Santa offered the skin off his butt for the surgery. She had the surgery and was as beautiful after as she was before the surgery. One night Jeeto and Santa were watching TV when she broke down crying. "What's the matter?" Santa asked. Jeeto said "I can't believe you did this for me." Santa hugged her and replied, "Don't worry about it, I love you, and I'd do anything for you." But how will I ever repay you?" she asked. To which Santa replied, "You don't need to repay me... you wouldn't believe the satisfaction I get every time I see your mom kiss you on the cheek."
Santa boarded a crowded bus with a bagful of purchases. There was no vacant seat. As the old bus rattled and swayed, he supported himself precariously, holding the bag in one hand, the other hand holding the bar provided near the cieling. "Ticket...ticket.....ticket," the conductor made several rounds past Santa. His wallet in his hip pocket and both hands engaged, Banta did not know what to do. "Ticket, sir," the conductor asked again. Santa thrust the bag into conductors hand and stuggled to take his wallet out, when the conductor protested: "I cannot be carrying passenger s baggage like this- I am the conductor." "Okay, then give me the bag, and here, will you please hold the bar," replied Banta.
Banta and his friend are out in the country shooting rabbits. Suddenly, Banta's friend falls right in front of him, throws a quick spasm, then lies perfectly still. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. In fact, he looks pretty well dead! Quick, as a flash, horrified Banta whips out his mobile and calls for emergency. He gasps breathlessly to the operator... My friend just fell to the ground right here in front of me! He's not breathing. He