'What kind of detective is Banta?' 'Well, once a burglar wearing calf-skin gloves robbed a safe. Banta took the fingerprints and five days later arrested a cow in Haryana.'
Santa, Banta and one of their friends are patients in a mental institution and are preparing for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If they pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years. The doctor takes them to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump. The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms. Then Banta jumps and breaks both legs. Santa looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor. To which Santa answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
Telephone in the White House rang. "Hello Mr. Bush," a heavily accented voice says. "This is Santa down in Ludhiana, Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that I am officially declaring war on you!" "Well, Santa ," Bush replies, "This indeed is important news! Tell me, how big is your army?" "At this moment in time," says Santa after a moments calculation, "There is myself, my friend Banta , my next door neighbour Gurinder and the entire Kabbadi team from the Village.
Banta, a construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated." The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table." Banta leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a bat, CRACK, CRACK, CRACK...,and then sends him into the bathroom. Banta comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do to prevent constipation ?" The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."
Santa wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's New Year's Party. Santa is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Santa had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of Disprins next to a glass of water on the side table.
A taxi driver driving a Mercedes-Benz picked Santa at the airport one day. When Santa got in and they started on their way he enquired what the three pinned emblem on the front is for. The driver replied "Why? It's for lining it up at people so you can run them down". "Ah I see", said Santa. With this the taxi driver starts heading straight for an elderly woman but at the last second swerves away and hears a loud bang, he looks curiously over at Santa who is hanging out of the car with the door wide open: "I thought you were going to miss there for a minute!".