Sardarji, jokes punjabi

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I was stopped by the cops in a control, and one of the officers was convinced that I was drunk. I had to answer some questions, which would determine whether I was under the influence, or sober.

Cop: "If you are driving on a road and see two lights, what is it?"
"A car, I think" I replied.

"OK, but is it a Chrysler, GM, or Buick?"

"No clue," I replied.

"You're drunk!" he said.

I shook my head slightly, being caught off
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Banta went to helicopter flight training, wanting to learn to fly that day. The owner agreed to him up, and instruct him by radio. He showed him the start up, and basic procedures, and up he went. At 1000 feet, Banta radioed, "I'm doing great! I love it! I'm really getting the hang of it!"
The instructor watched him climb to over 3000 feet, then watched in horror as the helicopter began a dive and crashed nearby. He ran over and pulled him from the wreck, asking, "What happened?"
He said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, until I got cold and turned off that big fan."
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Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing.

Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed
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Through the center of Lahore there is the new Indo-Pak train speeding along (Samjhuata Express or whatever) which goes between India and Pakistan. In one compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful vivacious young woman, an old matronly woman, a Pakistani soldier, and our own Santa. Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel. It is completely dark. Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap. When the train exits the tunnel, the Pakistani soldier is holding
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Santa went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I get this weird feeling that there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, to check it out, but then I think there's somebody on top of it. I go back and forth, all night long, on top, under, on top, under... You gotta help me, Doc, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
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A man from Lahore was touring Punjab and got lost. He saw Santa working in his field and stopped for directions.

Santa told him how to get to Shimla.

The man wanted to talk a bit so he asked Santa, "Is this your farm?"

"Yep", Santa answered.

"How big is it?" asked the tourist.

"Well, it starts down the road there where the creek is and follows the creek up and over the hill to about where you can see that big tree. Then it
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